Friday, December 21, 2007

needing to reconnect

Life has been absolutely wonderful and yet such a blur these past few months. I have accomplished much and have no real regrets but feel a little detached from the forests and marshes, lakes and streams, fields and thickets, that I call home. I have been either busily working towards my goals or a homebody. I suppose that is natural when you have such a wonderful family such as I and have determined to get a degree and other such demanding ventures. My wedding anniversary was Dec. 20th and after four years of marriage I still ask myself why she ever let me into her life. We always joke about how I tricked her into marrying me and how "if she'd only known..." :) Well I absolutely love her and feel more in love each day and on ever-deepening levels. I am not going to try an communicate that love here and now (It's easier just to tell her) but suffice it to say I am deeply thankful for her and my family.
It seems all I do is drive these days. I notice a lot of things around me and learn about the movements of nature but it is different when you are on the other side of the glass actually breathing in the scents and listening to the sounds of nature.
Driving today I realized I have not been out in my fur suit since early march. That may not make sense or be a big deal to those who haven't seen or heard of my full body fur suit, but being in my suit means I plan on being out for awhile in the cold and plan on really learning while either sitting or stalking deer or other animals I see. The fur suit is practical. It keeps me warm. It provides a quiet material that doesn't make any noise as I brush past a trees or climb through briars... basically I am just saying how much I miss being a part of the landscape and feeling the snow settle and accumulate on me as I watch nature move around me. I hope to be able to dedicate a day for me to feel that again. Does anyone else feel that need to connect with nature like that? It's almost like all time stops and you become counted again as a brother animal of the forest instead of an alien just passing through.

6 comments:

Running Waters said...

Okay firstly, I tricked Joel, he didn't trick me :) Everyone can see that I got the better end of that deal :) Joel, you can go in your fur suit and take in nature again whenever you want. Just please don't get yourself shot.

Caity said...

Of course, that was me.

Carrie said...

Ya, you should definitely wear an orange vest with your fur suit. I know that probably defeats the purpose, but we really don't want you getting shot! I feel this same way about gardening, Joel. I miss the earth in my hands and watching the progress of the things I've planted. I have anxiety over the fact that I've not got tulips planted at my new house, but it's a little difficult to do that now, with the ground being cover with rocks.

++\/w said...

if you wait til Jan. 2 to suit up you could reduce your chances of being shot by about 90% - then you'll only have to watch out for poachers & coon/squirrel/rabbit hunters. either way, have fun, and don't wear antlers!

Pam said...

Actually, I feel a lot like that, too. I like to be in nature because I feel so close to Heavenly Father. His presence just seems to be clearer and less polluted there. I sooo look forward to the chances I will have when I move to my new home. But for now walks seem to ward off the longing pretty well.

blogbusters said...

I love that suit and yes please be careful about the whole getting shot thing...We want to see you many more times. Well I hope you get to go out on a fur suit adventure soon..we can understand how much you must miss it!